I was always told that Jesus loved us not matter who we were and that God had a will for us.
I was born with Epilepsy and visually impaired. This resulted in a learning disability (which I eventually overcame), and I was anywhere from being the normal kid. I would get made fun of, put down and have my family judged as nothing but trouble makers due to other family members who got into drugs and alcohol.
The stories I post here are just a small part of what Christianity has done to my life.
But the real pain would be trying to fit into church. I was always at odds with the PK (preacher’s assho…kid). I would struggle to understand God, the Bible and his will.
But the real struggle would be years later as I gave one last shot at finding God’s plan for my life.
I was in my early to mid 20s and was attending this church in Lacey, WA. We had a new young adults leader and this new gal. Both went out of there way to filter out those of us who didn’t fit into their little social club. Basically, if you didn’t have the looks, the voice and talent, then there was no place for you.
Funny how all the so called ‘spiritual giants” are usually the worst people outside of church.
This one gal we shall call Beth and her “friend” we shall call Travis were both looked upon as big spiritual giants. Granted they once shared a sleeping bag on a Christian camp out and no, they weren’t married and Travis was dating someone else at the time. WTF!
I have a real talent for creative writing. I could have done many skits and poems for this church that would have reached many.
One skit is call “Lights, Camera, Action” and follows a so called spiritual giant with a director coaching her as she gets ready for church and while she is at church. Just putting on a big show is what the skit is about.
These people went out of their way to make me feel welcome. They only saw the surface and not the person underneath dying to fit in and belong.
They would call me weird or strange. Funny, I thought I just needed God in my life and his will! Being church leaders isn’t that what they should have thought of rather than judge me and push me away? Just shows you what it’s really about. Just puttin’ on a good show and don’t let the weird ones try and steal it from you. Can’t have them on stage, it just wouldn’t look good for the church no would it?
I guess it all worked out for good. I no longer have the insecurity about my life, God’s will and so on. I know where my life is headed and have dealt with a lot and made it without Jesus or God being there.
Since quitting church my life has turned around quite a but.
In church: Single and alone, unemployed or dead end jobs, no friends and not fitting in and no direction in life.
Out of Church: Making good money, married and good home, great job and friends and co-workers who love me and life is great. Yes I have direction in my life too.
Preacher: If you don’t like it theirs the door!