I mention below that I spent 20 years trapped in this, but in actually, I have come to realize I was still a prisoner of all of this. I have been going through counseling this last year and it has finally set me onto a path of freedom. There is still much to accomplish, but I am more secure and stronger than I have ever been. My story isn’t over yet!
As I shared my story I shared my beginnings dealing with Epilepsy and being visual impaired. I also shared my learning disability. These are all the thins that helped set the stage for the usury that is Christianity. When you are insecure and unsure of yourself and your life you are easily used and manipulated. This was my life for over 20 years.
While good things did happen to me and some nice people helped me along, it was good old fashioned human nature and kindness that prevailed. Not God. God always seemed MIA. My overcoming the very things that held me back was nothing more than my own personal strength and determination to be a better person and have a better life. This is still a driving force in my life.
There are many things I left out of my story do to space and just too much to cover. But in the end I think you got the idea of what religion can really do to you.
After breaking free I had the quick and short downfall in my life where I was spinning out of control. Sometimes when you are driving the wrong road it takes a quick slip on the ice to wake you up and show you are headed the wrong direction.
I find it remarkable that my life has greatly improved in the time I have stopped going to church until now. It took someone (my wife) to show me true love with no agenda. Not only true love, but encouraged me to fix the things that needed fixing. No one else seemed to care and many Christian I encountered were more interested in getting rid of me than helping me. I guess they didn’t want me to make their group look bad.
On march 17th I had my 44th birthday and 2009 marking my 11th year since breaking free of church and religion.
Many of you here are new to breaking free. I know the feelings you have and the fears you go through. The ups and downs, the doubts and pain. Keep moving forward. Don’t focus on what you lost as it will slow you down, but on what you will now gain. Freedom, life and being who you are and want to be verses what the church guilts you into doing. Serving and helping others should be a natural desire, not one that is guilted onto you or based on getting some reward at the end. The real reward is knowing you made someone’s life better. I don’t have to go to Africa or Mexico to do that. I can do that here and have done that here.
I have true peace in my life, true love and true hope. I have a direction in my life and am an inspiration to those who really know me. No more sitting up till 2am praying for direction and God’s Will. No more trying to fit in with superficial phonies who want to push me away because I may make them look bad because I “needed the Lord”.
Resistance isn’t futile and I will not be assimilated. I AM FREE!